I will control myself or go inside

I will not flaw perfection with my grief.

Handsome, this day: no matter who has died.

          -Edna St. Vincent Millay

"My worst fear is to be held captive by niceness." -Vanessa Beecroft

"As has blurred her beauty, but it has extinguished her raspy smolder." -Judith Thurman

the RASPY SMOLDER - the key to what makes me attracted to certain women; they must possess this vague, unmistakable quality

"bulimia is contagious" 

flip on the psycho switch

a stale taste in the mouth, feeling dirty, from deep on the inside, the feeling pooling together into the center of my tongue, the sour, sweet residue that tastes like wet salt and makes you believe you want more sugar, more frothy milk. like my torso is a wire cage and my heart knows it.